002: Get a Life!

Blizzard Exec #1: Whoever this player is, he has played World of Warcraft so much that he has reached a level we had thought unreachable.


Blizzard Exec #2: What kind of person would do this?


Blizzard Exec #1: Only one kind...Whoever this person is, he has played World of Warcraft nearly every hour of every day for the past year and a half. Gentlemen, we are dealing with someone here who has absolutely no life.


Blizzard Exec #2: How do you kill that which has no life?

My first experiences in Second Life make me wonder what Linden Lab execs must think of the kind of person that spends hour after hour in Second Life.

Arguably, one of South Park’s crowning achievements in the field of social commentary was its 2006 smash hit, “Make Love, Not Warcraft.” The episode portrayed the four main characters’ initial love for the game, World of Warcraft, and how this love ultimately degraded into an obsession that led to obesity, general un-cleanliness, and, of course, carpal tunnel.

This episode was especially funny for me, having myself spent countless hours in near-stupor with a mouse in one hand, a Red Bull half empty, and a headset that was probably sending brain cell-killing waves into my head. Despite my parents’ concerns that my muscles were in atrophy, I continued playing WoW because it entertained me. The quests were meaningless in terms of a greater story line; however, the compulsion to tick quests off like items on a to-do list was irresistible. I knew that loot gained was worthless, but in-game, coolness was next to godliness. Therefore, when I started my adventures in Second Life, I assumed that it would fit the description of your standard role playing game – there would be an inventory, a currency, and a purpose (however vague).

What I actually discovered confused me. Second Life used an outdated inventory system that was based on text drop-down menus and lacked a preview option, a currency that required me to input actual money rather than earning it in-game, and a complete absence of initial purpose. My first impression of Second Life can be summed up as, “Okay, now what?”

Despite my lack of enthusiasm for the “game,” I pushed on, if only because my job required it. I was given some Linden Dollars and told to change my clothes so I would not look like a noob. Eventually, I found a decent suit somewhere in between the option to obtain free animated penises and the advertisement on how to become a prostitute. Entertaining as these prospects seemed, I felt slightly embarrassed to be viewing them at work. Customization took a couple hours, but soon, I was once again at a loss for what to do.

After my first day on the job in Second Life, I had thought that *I* had no life squandering countless hours in front of a computer; however, I concluded that whoever played Second Life must have even less of one.
It was not until almost a week later when I finally began to understand the true potential of this virtual world. Certainly, it is no game by any conventional definition. There are no players, only Residents, and the sole purpose is a search for self-betterment that parallels the desires of each real-life person. Opportunities abound for higher education, be it for learning a new language or understanding the economics of virtual worlds (shameless plug!). Activities do exist, ranging from skiing and skydiving to riding submarines and moon rovers. However, users be forewarned, those expecting game-like qualities from these activities might well be sorely disappointed. They exist more as facilitators for social interaction than as games themselves.

Coming from a generation where multi-tasking is a way of life, I believe I still lack the requisite attention span for Second Life. Surely, live music events and educational talks are interesting and fun, but what happens afterwards? How will I be entertained? How long can I tolerate the painfully slow load times for different sims? How will the minds at Linden Lab make Second Life more accessible to attract younger users, or are the dynamics of the virtual economy enough to be perpetually sustainable once users reach a certain age?

“I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was so great I literally wanted a second one. Absolutely everything was the same...except I could fly.”
Dwight Schrute, The Office